Introducing a Brand New Character, Bill!
Welcome to the life of Bill. Bill is quite a unique character. He is a human hand. How he can do some of the things he will do in these stories, like speak for example, is unknown, but I vow to make him one of the most popular, if not the most unpopular, (it will be difficult for the fans to decide whether or not they like him,) character in all of these stories, second only to The Boy. Now, enter Bill's little world and learn all about him and the crazy characters that inhabit it. Enter Bill's first adventure.
The Adventures of Bill: Travels With a Chocolate Bar
"Oh yay," cried Bill more enthusiastically than it seems possible for a human to be. That may be because he's a hand. "I got a chocolate bar! I'm gonna run around with it, and throw it in the air, and put it on a telephone pole so everyone can see it and I can show it off! But first, I've got to show it to my very best friend Brandon!"
Off he ran to the portal which lead to the interdimentional dimention in which he could talk to Brandon and the people in his head. Suddenly however, Bill was stopped by one of his friends. This particular friend happened to have an extreme lack of control in the bathroom department. The sad thing was, he showed it off. Worse yet, he used it for horrible, degrading, and just plain nasty things. This friend's name was Jim. "I'll make you a chocolate bar that's better than the one you've got," Jim said, and he promptly did.
"Eeeewwww," cried Bill. "I don't want that one!"
Bill ran past Jim, silently wishing never to see or smell him again. Although he would be losing an excelent friend. How sad it would be. Well Bill ran into that portal, he forgot to open it first, and said "Ow!" Judging by that revealing remark, it hurt.
When he finally got through, (he had forgotten how to turn a handle not to mention what a handle was and it took a large effort from his conscience, known to him as the noisy cricket,) to open the portal. Bill was promptly greeted by Brandon, who slapped him in the face, kicked him in the stomach, and threw him against a wall. "Hi Bill," said Brandon cheerfully.
Bill, who had forgotten the whole mess with Brandon hitting him said, equally cheerful, "Well hello there, Brandon. It's so nice to see my best friend again. I've got something to show you. Now don't tell my parents this, but I've got a chocolate bar!"
"Well that's wonderful, Bill. It's about time your teeth rotted anyway. Say, can you prove the existence of this chocolate bar? I am but a poor blind man and I cannot see this wonder which you obviously possess."
"Aw, poor Brandon. Of course I'll prove it for you. I'll just rattle the wrapper so you can hear the sweet sound of tin foil."
The sound that Brandon heard was no rattle of tin foil. A squishy, squelching sound could be heard from Bill's direction. "Bill?" questioned Brandon. "What is that?"
"Hmmmmm," said Bill in his most thoughtful of tones. "I must have lost the wrapper somewhere. Oh well. I'll just eat it now and you can hear that. It feels a little melted but it should be all right."
Brandon heard the sound of Bill biting into his delicious chocolate bar. Interestingly, Brandon heard a sort of gagging noise after that. "Oh no," said Bill with a full mouth.
"What is it, Bill," asked Brandon.
"Hahahahaha!" shouted Jim as he ran past, "I've got a chocolate bar!"
Suddenly it all became clear. Poor Bill's swallow reflex kicked in and he couldn't help himself. It was only a few seconds before he vomitted. Brandon laughed. That taste wouldn't be leaving Bill's mouth for a very long time.