The Fun-filled Adventures of Ryo Hazuki


                One blustery day, Joy threw Ryo Hazuki a surprise birthday party. Hazuki was very happy to see his friends, and to recieve his presents, the first of which was a sword handguard made of sheepskin. "Thank you," he said in his usual manner.


                "You're welcome," said master Lee Shao Tao in reply.


                "Here!" Du Lin said as he handed Ryo his present. "I'm putting it down!"


                "Sure," Ryo said.


                Ryo opened Du Lin's present, and revealed a Ryo and Du Lin Forever friendship bracelet with an inscription: We make the perfect pair.


                "Du Lin," Ryo said. "What is this? Um, excuse me? Is there something you're not telling me?"


                "Left!" cried Du Lin pointing to the purple earing in his left ear.


                "Sure," Ryo said simply.


                "I'll let you open my present," said Jenmen. (Are you kidding? Do you actually think that I know how to spell these names? You've got another think coming if you do.) "But first, you must spar with me. It will help me learn your style of Kung Fu."


                "No, I'd better not," Ryo said after thinking for a few seconds.


It was interesting that the direction right suddenly popped in his head when he said that. Not that it was the first time that happened. One day he was trying to keep this girl from stabbing him with a knife. He did it, but as he was doing it, the words down right A appeared in his brain. "What does it mean?" he had thought at the time.


                Hey Row," Wong said to him. "Row, what about my present?"


                "Wong," Ryo said. "Sure. I would like a present."


                Wong gave Ryo a box. When Ryo opened it up, a brand new lighter was revealed. "Yeah," Hazuki said.


                "Hey kid," called Renn of Heavens.


                "Renn!" Ryo shouted just as he used to when he was chasing Renn.


                "I don't have a present for you," Renn said.


                "Huh?" asked Hazuki.


                "I said I don't have a present for you. Don't you think I've given you enough already? I mean, you got my tape recorder, you got my hideout, what more do you want?"


                "Uh, nothing," Ryo said.


                "HEY RYO!" yelled Joy. "ARE YOU GOING TO OPEN MY PRESENT YET OR WHAT?"


                "Joy," Ryo said with all the enthusiasm he could muster. "Please, where is your present."


                "IT'S OVER THERE!" Joy replied.


                "Can you give me directions?" asked Ryo politely.




                "Right at the birthday cake... I got it. Thanks."


                Ryo stumbled and staggered through the pile of presents until he reached the birthday cake. He had six QTE sequences in between when he got up and when he arrived at the cake. He turned right and saw a huge box that was labeled JOY'S PRESENT! IT was definitely her handwriting. "Joy's present... it's here," said Hazuki stating the obvious.


                It was quite a large box. It was the biggest of the bunch and Hazuki had to get some help from Du Lin to carry it over by everyone else. "Left left right left right left right right left left left!" Du Lin said on the way. Thankfully, Ryo was the king of QTE, so this was easy.


                Ryo finally got to the rest of the people, but only after Du Lin assured him of the fact that they were putting it down. Ryo opened the box to reveal the most unexpected thing. There was barely anything in it. All the way at the bottom, though, were two things. It was the two photographs that the annoying photographer had taken of them. "Oh no," Ryo said. he hated those pictures.


                Suddenly Ryo had a QTE. Caught off guard by the two ugly pictures, he didn't notice until it was too late. He failed the QTE and Yuan stabbed him with a long knife. Ryo died there, and he went to that great main menu screen in the sky.